I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
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And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
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I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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