THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
