I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Come on in and take your pants off
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