Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Boobs are out for the taking
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
