I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
