Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
