Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
