youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize