yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ugly people sure do ruin things
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
