Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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