I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
