i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
