Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
