Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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