Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We need to get me chipped asap
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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