I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
