I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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