I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
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I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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