y did u give ur computer a hand job?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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