I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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