Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
