Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
