Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
