They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
