College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
