You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
