you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
