Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
