I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
