Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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