just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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