ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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