just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How does it feel to date your dad?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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