her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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