i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
