my soul wont recognize me after tonight
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize