I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
