I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
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It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
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You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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