take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
