Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
