lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
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I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it