just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture