dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
she was concerned about my dick piercings.