Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
