You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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