A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
