Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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