Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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