We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
