What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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