chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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