Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
