Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we're making bets on your personal life
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
