I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i think i have two assholes
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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