whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
