I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
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I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
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Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram