There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.