he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Even my vagina gasped.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.