I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
