Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize