like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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