Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize