Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
