Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
