90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
