I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
