Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
