Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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