she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
