I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i dont even know how to be here
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
